Lewinsville Presbyterian Church, in Northern Virginia, “adopted” an Afghan family this spring. The Refugee Resettlement Team’s (RRT) initial work focused on provision of all the basics: food, furniture, dishware, clothing, basic medicines, and more. While some of the basics work continues, recent efforts now focus on helping the family anchor itself in the community. And thus issues of jobs, English classes, and transportation have become paramount. While providing a car and the attendant issues of licensing, insurance, and driving tests, will take some time, the RRT made certain the family had some form of transportation, and thus provided bicycles for the family; however, each bike, it seemed needed some sort of repair and refreshing.
I got a call on Monday to help with a wounded bike. I could help, and thus spent about three hours with the family, mainly bike-related, this time accompanied by Farhad, as Farwad –the senior son with the best English –had been laid low by a tooth extraction. In pain and somewhat lightheaded and while apologizing profusely, he asked if Farhad could accompany me. He certainly could and after picking up Farhad and the bike in Alexandria, we drove to the bike shop.
A wonderful conversation ensued; a conversation extended by the Friday afternoon traffic mess.
“Farhad, you are always smiling, so positive,” I comment. You light up people’s spirits. It’s remarkable given all that you’ve been through –escape from Afghanistan, a year at a camp in Albania, and then waiting here to find someplace to live. Is that spirit in you, or did you learn it from someone, or…?”
“A lot of hard things happened in Afghanistan, but I always felt I could learn from them…that I would be stronger so I could help others,” he replied. “We fled Afghanistan to a camp in Albania, and there I met a woman who liked my book. She invited me to come at Christmas to Phoenix to speak to her church group about my book! I always have gratitude. There is always something to be grateful for, for instance, waking up! I have another day, the opportunity to give!”
“Give?” “Yes, from our pockets, 2 or 3% for a God tax. But more important, when you give, you give twice, first to a certain person who gets help, and that person, feeling grateful, gives to another. You see, Mr. Jack, it spreads.” Then his dream: “I want to start my own charitable foundation to help Afghanistan. I’m so excited to think about it because so much money goes so far.” “How far?” “Well, $100 will feed a family of six for three months,” and here he got really excited, “and $100 will pay for school supplies, backpacks, pencils, and paper…for about 80 kids. Food comes and goes but education stays, and that will really help my country. My foundation will mainly support education for kids.”
And so we arrive at the bike shop, I alerting Farhad that, “they have a two-week waiting period as they’re chronically backed up, even though they had been so generous at first, letting Fawad jump the two-week line and charging us nothing for bike repairs.” “Bill, here we are again! This is Farhad, a member of the Afghan family you haven’t met.” Hands black, goggles, and headband, “Let’s see it. What’s wrong?” Bending over the bike together, Farhad shows him the iffy breaks and something misaligned, it seems, with the gear cogs. The bike goes up on the rack immediately. We chat briefly with the owner. Bill emerges with a worn down, almost non-existent “pad.” “May I replace?” He did and spent another 15 minutes on the gears.
“All set. Give it a test ride!” Farhad takes it out for a spin while Bill and I meet at the cash register. “You’ve got to let me pay you for all of this, time included!” “No. Only the brake pad.” “How about something for the guys, a lunch or something for somebody back home?” “No.”
Farhad rides in beaming. “It’s perfect. Everything works just right.” His thanks to Bill were so heartfelt that Bill had to turn his back mumbling something about, “Happy to help,” but I think he too (like me) was hit hard by emotion. I paid only for the pad. Bill refused to ring up the labor.
At first, things were quiet on the way home. Then, “You see, Mr. Jack, everybody likes the opportunity to give. When Bill gets home tonight, maybe he’ll tell his people what was different about his work today. Mr. Jack, it spreads.”
I volunteered to be on his board when he sets up his foundation.
Written by Jack Calhoun
Mr. Calhoun is an internationally renowned public speaker and frequent media guest, editorial contributor and author of three books. He is the founder and CEO of Hope Matters. For more than 20 years, Mr. Calhoun was the founding president of the National Crime Prevention Council, prior to which he served under President Carter as the Commissioner of the Administration for Children, Youth and Families. Click on “Contact” to book Mr. Calhoun to speak at your next conference. All speaking topics are available at: www.HopeMatters.org/Speaker
